For my second entry in this month’s blogger challenge, I felt it was necessary to review something that is near and dear to my heart. Something that I honestly believe I can not live without. I partake in them everyday and will never regret it. When I am in need of something salty, no alternative will do. There is only one snack food that will forever have a place in my heart, and it just so happens that place is orange and square-sized. Yes, everyday I eat…
My love affair with cheez-itz (the ‘z’ is hip, see) began long ago and although I can not remember the exact date, I like to imagine that it was a dark and stormy night. I was sitting on a pier down by the beach. It was pouring. I had nothing. And then I turned around and there they were, just sitting on top of that trash can. A vibrantly red box full of my new love. A portrait of them inscribed on it, their orangeness emanating into the atmosphere. The rain ceased. The clouds dissipated. Pure bliss.
Now I can see how you may think that is an awfully extreme picture I’ve painted, but I assure you, that that was me holding back. Writing a review of a box of Cheez-itz is nearly impossible for me. How can one truly express that feeling they get when they open a new box, rip the plastic open, and smell that cheesy goodness? You jam your hand in and come out with a fist full of orange crackers, sprinkled with salt, and as you choose one to toss into your mouth first, you know that whatever your choice may be, it will be the right one.
Cheez-itz are the greatest snack food because they represent a lifestyle (a lifestyle that may lead to a heart attack, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take). You can just sit back on your couch, watch some television, and cuddle up next to something that won’t talk during your favorite programs. The box is made of a cardboard sturdy enough to protect its contents, but also soft enough to prevent an unnecessary paper-cut.
So the next time you walk down the snack aisle in your local supermarket, I must make only one recommendation: Buy a box of Cheez-itz. But beware: if you’re not looking for a long-term relationship, you can take your commitment-phobe ass to the saltines. I’m sure you’ll be okay……..maybe……..probably not…….nah.