I am a carnivore (my friends tag me in anything bacon related). So, when I tell you that I attempted a detox where I was essentially vegan for three days, you can be assured that it was no small feat. I followed Dr. Oz’s 3-Day detox (with some liberties) and went through the looking glass.
For anyone who’s interested in trying it themselves, here’s a look at what you’re in for…
Day 1: The (H)Angry Day
My body was none too pleased with this abrupt change…
I started my morning with green tea and lemon. Not my first choice. Give me a mocha or iced cappuccino any day!
The breakfast drink that followed was tolerable. Not a banana fan, but I couldn’t taste the spinach, so I considered myself lucky. At this point my stomach got a bit vulgar and said, “This is breakfast? Da f*** you say!?”
The lunch drink was… an experience. Whoever thought celery was a good idea for this, well, they’re not a texture person. The taste wasn’t bad, but the texture was TERRIBLE. I was chewing, not drinking, this drink. At some point I thought pinching my nose and downing it would help. No. Noooooo. Do NOT do this. You will only exaggerate the texture because you are no longer distracted by the taste/smell. *insert vomit noises* I understand why in theory celery is a good idea (it is a “negative calorie” food). However, the only way I could finish this drink was to pour it over a strainer, press the juice from the pulp, and then drink it. Consider yourself warned.
So… I maybe… sort of… cheated after lunch. Someone in my house made burgers (not helpful dad!!) and the smell filled the house. I kind of felt like Bruce, the shark from Finding Nemo, when he smells Dory’s blood- JUST A BITE!!!
But, I didn’t eat one. Nope, I resisted temptation! Instead, my cheat was a bell pepper with hummus. I rationalized it to myself that if you put sesame seeds (where we get tahini) and chick peas (or garbanzo beans, depending on where you hail from) in a blender, you essentially get hummus… essentially.
The dinner drink was acceptable. I have to say, I’m pretty proud of myself for getting through the day and not screwing it up by eating any bread, meat, or dairy products. No refined sugar. No coffee. And, for trying a lot of new things like: mango, avocado, coconut water, almond milk, and flax seeds. And somehow, I’m still here. Crankier, but here. Huh.
Day 2: The Sad Day
My body acted really passive aggressive and mopey; it turned up its nose at my drinks and said, “Hmmph.” It didn’t want the tea. I still drank it. It didn’t want the breakfast shake either; it would’ve rather gone hungry. But after a few hours of being up, and feeling blood sugar at an all-time low, it acquiesced.
I had to compromise on the lunch drink. With the debacle from the previous day, I made it easy on myself and came up with my own drink: filtered water + coconut water+ lime. Tasty, refreshing, and good for you, it has been the easiest part of my experience thus far.
Okay so, I cheated a little more today. I’m being honest! Today’s temptation food? Pizza! But, my rationalized cheats were: a small green apple and a handful of popcorn (plain, no butter or salt). Still fruits and veggies, right? Right. Hey, it could’ve been worse.
Interestingly enough, I find that I’m getting less and less hungry as I progress. I think my body is just hoping I stop this madness and maybe I’ll stop if I’m not hungry. Clever, but I’m not falling for it.
Day 3: The “Are We There Yet?” Day
I’m so ready to be done. THREE days without any “real” food?! There was the temptation to cut it short and eat (my version of) normal again, but I didn’t. I wanted to see this thing through somehow, even if I didn’t follow Dr. Oz’s plan exactly to the letter.
I had tea in the morning and the breakfast shake.
I felt pretty hungry by lunch and indulged in some of my previous cheats (to keep myself from falling off the bandwagon altogether).
I skipped out on the dinner drink, even though I know I shouldn’t have.
Eating like this is surprisingly doable. I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed every second (still a carnivore!), but the health benefits (I should think) far outweigh the (mostly) mild displeasure of eating your fruits and vegetables in liquid form. I don’t know if I will attempt to do a detox again (and actually do it right) but I think I could incorporate one of the drinks into my daily diet (with some modifications). Overall, I had a good experience and it was worth a try.
Are there better detoxes out there? Or better drink recipes? Let me know in the comments.